On Boston Drivers...

Yes, they are a notorious bunch. I hereby offer a couple more exhibits for the evidence pile: First is a somewhat whiney account from a freshly exposed youngster who thinks she's been around long enough to have an authoritative opinion: Massholes

Yes, the popular term is “Masshole,� but that’s something of a misnomer. You see, the trouble with Boston drivers is not really that they’re jerks on the road—I’ve driven alongside my share of New York cabbies and asphalt cowboys. Boston drivers are a different breed. Their driving wavers somewhere between oblivious and schizophrenic. They stop dutifully in the left lane at a stoplight because that’s the lane they were driving in—even though there’s nobody in the other lane. They fade between lanes with no semblance of purpose—or sometimes even intention. I’ve driven in front of buses at night that had no lights on. More than once, someone has tried to merge in from the right—right into my passenger door.

That’s the thing. Boston drivers aren’t bad, they’re scary. Congratulations, folks: you frighten me.

This is fairly typical stuff, especially for someone who has been in the area less than, say, five years.

More damning, however is this bit about Boston cabbies not wearing seatbeltsbecause they don't have to!!

Published in today's Annals of Emergency Medicine, the survey by Fernandez and other BMC emergency room doctors found that of 250 taxi drivers observed during a four-day period last June, only 17 were properly belted in. The doctors stationed observers throughout the city where cabs are common, to note and record whether the driver was wearing a seat belt.

Industry lobbyists pushed for the exclusion from the seat belt law back in the late 1980s, saying that being strapped in was inconvenient for cabdrivers, who frequently get in and out of their vehicle.

The mind boggles. How did the cabbies get the exemption? Well, they argued that the belt would slow them down too much considering how often they get in and out of their cars to load/unload luggage and such. Oh, and since they mostly drive in the city at speeds under 30 mph, a seatbelt would be silly anyway.

Yeah right. Show any cabbie in any town two blocks of open road and I bet they'll get to 60 in no time. Time is money and speed equals time.

College Hockey Playoffs

Well, thanks to a boatload of ties, Boston College has secured top spot in the Hockey East standings at the end of the regular season. Meanwhile, my boys at BU edged New Hampshire in the last game of the season to grab the number two spot. That sets up a three game series against the Providence Friars in the first round of the Hockey East playoffs:

BU also faced the Friars in the quarterfinals in 2002 and 2003, both series that BU won. BU swept the Friars in three games this year, including two 3-2 wins and a 4-2 win in which BU scored an empty net goal as time expired.

The odds sound good to me, but Coach Parker (who will soon share his name with the rink on which his teams skates) is always cautious – or at least politically correct:

"I don't see any home-ice team being a shoo-in," said BU coach Jack Parker. "It's a tough league."

Now I need to get me one of the new old school third jerseys (perhaps with Chris Bourque's number)...

The plan is to have the team wear the uniforms on various special occasions. "Once in a while, yeah," Parker said. "Although I think if a lot of people like them, we might use them a little bit more. We might take the negative of them and make the white uniform to use as our home jersey once in a while. But we will not get rid of our traditional 'Detroit' look."

Yeah, that "Detroit look" has almost gotten me into some bother here in Colorado. I've sported my Chris Drury sweater around town a couple times and heard several grumbles along the lines of "That better not be a Red Wings jersey..."

Our Tattoos

Since I lost my tattoo stories in the Great Hosting Disaster of '05 (and since my tattoo category has been sitting empty for so long), I thought I'd just point to this photo set of our recent tats. I'm sad to report that my coat of arms healed like boogers and needs some retouching. Not sure what went sideways with it, but I blame only myself.

Also, I'm currently working on a design for my other forearm. One word: Dagger.

Yeah, that's right.

Hockey Needs Monopoly

Report: Firms to increase offer for NHL

According to a report in Friday's Toronto Star, a Wall Street financial services corporation and a sports advisory firm are prepared to substantially increase their initial offer of $3.5 billion US to purchase the 30 NHL teams.

Personally, I'd love to see this happen. Sure, it would kill the idea of a "dynasty" team, but who cares? Share the love, I say.

Unbeknownst to me, the MLS actually operates under a single entity ownership, and despite the fact that they actually pay for major network airtime (as of last year...), they have a strict salary cap (that every team is interested in following, because they all work for the same people) and probably do fairly well financially. (I couldn't find anything that said whether or not the operation was running in the black, and I'm just too damned ignorant about pro soccer to say anything with authority.)

Oh, and meanwhile, Don "Grapes" Cherry is making friends as usual, I'm sure, with his statement that if NHL players get to go to Europe to play during the lockout, European players shouldn't get grief if they come over here to fill in the holes.

"Talk about hypocrites. They go over to Europe, 400 of them, and take those jobs. As far as I'm concerned all those guys over there are scabs."

Nice. Like Don wouldn't go work for ESPN – possibly costing John Buccigross a job (I doubt it.) – if he got "locked out" by the CBC?

Good Music in Beantown

Hawaiian punch: Waitiki throws a Polynesian party to play the music of Juan Garcia Esquivel

Tonight at the Lizard Lounge in Cambridge, Waitiki is presenting a very special show, even by Waitiki standards. The group will swell to a 20-piece ensemble, dubbed Waitiki Orchestrotica, for a rare live performance of the ''supersonic space-age bachelor pad" sounds of the late Juan Garcia Esquivel, variously known as the King of Lounge, Mexico's Duke Ellington, and -- oxymoronic though it may sound -- an easy-listening innovator.

Fantasic. The music scene is one of the main things I miss about Boston. And you gotta love any band that travels with its own drink menu.

I wonder if/when Waitiki will have a disc out for us land-locked folks... Or if they will ever travel west of Pittsburg.

Left on a jet plane. Now he's back again.

Congrats to "millionaire adventurer" Steve Fossett who has successfully become the first person to fly solo 'round the world. (No word on whether or not he found his lover.) Also, much-deserved congrats to my aerospace hero, Burt Rutan.

The first nonstop global flight without refueling was made in 1986 by Jeana Yeager and Dick Rutan, in the propeller-driven Voyager airplane. Dick Rutan's brother, Burt Rutan, is the designer of the GlobalFlyer and the Voyager as well as SpaceShipOne, which last year became the first privately developed craft to soar into outer space.

He is the future of aircraft.

My Baby Can Kick Your Baby's Ass

Now that we are married and approaching our early-mid-thirties, The Wife and I occasionally discuss the possiblity of procreating... While I generally run from the room screaming when the subject comes up (little people scare me), I have to say I would have a fun time gearing up my kid thanks to the following options:

Of course, the best thing ever would be tooling around the mall with one of these puppies.

John Gilmore is a kook

And I love him for it. Grounded: Millionaire John Gilmore stays close to home while making a point about privacy

As happens to the disobedient, Gilmore is grounded. He is rich -- he estimates his net worth at $30 million -- and cannot fly inside the United States. Nor can he ride Amtrak, rent a room at most major hotels, or easily clear security in the courthouses where his case, Gilmore v. Ashcroft, is to be heard. In a time when more and more people and places demand some form of government-issued identification, John Gilmore offers only his 49-year-old face: a study in stringy hair, high forehead, wire-rimmed glasses, Ho Chi Minh beard and the contrariness for which the dot.com culture is renowned.

It's enough to make the folks at Reason soil their pants, I'm sure.

Canine Socialization Tips

Dog-Friendly Dog Training

The technique here is to go outside and sit on a park bench. Whenever you see another dog you say "oh, look, here comes a cookie dog." And as soon as your dog sees the other, you give him a treat. Even if your dog is tense and growling and one might say that you are rewarding the dog for growling and acting badly around other dogs, things will improve quickly. The dog cannot help but make the positive association between the approaching dog and the cookie and soon he will look forward to other dogs approaching. Any time your dog acts appropriately when a dog approaches, offer a reward. Be sure you give your dog enough space from the other dog to feel safe and comfortable. And watch for early signs of discomfort, such as yawning, and excessive panting or activity. You don’t want to push your dog too far too fast.

Clever.

Mingus needs some work in this area, for sure. Or, I suppose, I do.

Pyrophagia

Oakland: Taste of fire sparks feeding frenzy

The experience produced a notable rush. Having eaten fire, I was surprised to find I was greedy for it. All of us were as we raced to dip our fire sticks in the instructor's martini shaker of Coleman camping fuel, and then crowded around the little votive candle that was our source of flame.

Man, I can't tell you how long I've been interested in fire eating and – more specifically – juggling fire. Hmm... I gotta get out my juggling clubs again sometime...

Here's the best part:

The office worker, John Sutton, 39, said he wanted to be the first in his group to eat fire. "I don't know anybody who does it," he said. "Guys who knit aren't edgy anymore."

Good to know. Suttons around the world just want to be cool, I guess.

Anyway, remember always: "Don't do more than one stupid thing at a time."

Oscar Summary

[Since I'm getting Google hits, here's the 37% lamer 2006 Oscar summary.] The best musical performance (by far!) was Jorge Drexler accepting his award by singing his own Best Song, completely showing up the version Antonio Banderas and Carlos Santana put forth. Seriously: The music sucked. Someone tell Adam Duritz it was time to lose the fake dreds five years ago. Please.

When Sean Penn came out I thought to myself, "Man, he's badass. He looks like he needs to beat someone." Then he got all grumpy at Chris Rock for asking who Jude Law is, so yeah, I guess he was looking for someone to beat.

I'm sorry I missed his tirade about who's a movie star and who isn't, because, other than that Chris Rock was pretty dull. They showed clips of Johnny Carson when he hosted: Too bad for Chris.

Was Dustin Hoffman completely pixelated or what?!

Jamie Foxx is a sweet guy. He should stop acting like an asshole.

Clint Eastwood is just getting started, y'all. His mom was in the audience at age 96. Someday I want Clint to yell at me and make me cry like a little girl.

Hilary Swank is "teh hotness" (as they say on the internets).

The "everyone on stage so the losers can relive their middle school talent show failures" presentations were extra lame.

Why does the foreign film award "go to" the country of origin??

Best moment I didn't catch (from a pre-show):

"Before you were a movie star, you were a serious actor," said ABC's Chris Connelly to Orlando Bloom.

I used to like Connelly when he was on MTV. Now I wish Orlando had smacked him.

The show was over EARLY. WTF?!?! That's just stupid.

See CNN, NYT, EW, and, well, everywhere else for more...