@simianista Monkey Revolution Dispatches for 2009-07-13

  • 5000+ evacuate from England's Chester Zoo when ~30 hungry chimps escaped their pen to raid the fridge. http://is.gd/1paPZ #monkeyrevolution #
  • Mura's saddleback tamarin - new monkey sub-species discovered in the Amazon rain forest: http://is.gd/1qi9s #monkeyrevolution #
  • Video: Alcoholic Vervet monkeys in St. Kitts steal your fruity drinks! Thieving bastards!! http://is.gd/1r9Xt #monkeyrevolution #
  • RT @savetheorang: Another day, another rescue - all in a day's work for the BOS NM team: http://bit.ly/m2Zp1 #
  • 3 baby Proboscis (aka: Jimmy Durante) Monkeys debuted to the public this week in Indonesia's East Java: http://is.gd/1u9E2 #monkeyrevolution #

Powered by Twitter Tools.

@simianista Monkey Revolution Dispatches for 2009-07-06

  • Baby Sumatran orangutan, Menari, born at Audubon Zoo in New Orleans on June 10, 2009: http://is.gd/1i1oh #monkeyrevolution #
  • Word on the street has it that TV's "Bones", minx Emily Deschanel, might be a simianista sympathizer: http://is.gd/1iM8H #monkeyrevolution #
  • Palm oil production threatens orangutan habitat in Sumatra: http://is.gd/1jbBN #monkeyrevolution #
  • Malaysian authorities rescued three baby orangutans believed to have been smuggled into the country: http://is.gd/1jy3E #monkeyrevolution #
  • Cute overload. RT: @fuckyoupenguin: Only I can save everyone from this baby gorilla http://tinyurl.com/maclfu #monkeyrevolution #
  • Michael Jackson's chimp, Bubbles, has retired to Florida -- just like your Grandma. http://is.gd/1lBbX #monkeyrevolution #
  • South Vietnamese court sentenced two men to prison for killing two endangered black-shanked douc apes: http://is.gd/1mqsg #monkeyrevolution #
  • Jocco, maybe one of the world's oldest capuchin monkeys, and star at Utah's Hogle Zoo, has died at 45. http://is.gd/1mOCR #monkeyrevolution #
  • In India, it seems, monkeys are easy to catch, but not so easy to release: http://is.gd/1ogAJ #monkeyrevolution #

Powered by Twitter Tools.

Monkey Revolution Dispatch from @simianista for 2009-06-29

  • The LA Zoo spent $7.4 million on a feng shui-approved monkey lair, but now China isn't sending monkeys. http://is.gd/1h019 #monkeyrevolution #
  • Jamie, 24-yo gorilla, died while under anesthesia for heart exam. Luckily apes don't know malpractice. http://is.gd/1h1Zb #monkeyrevolution #
  • A U.S. study suggests humans are more likely related to orangutans and not chimpanzees. http://is.gd/1h2a7 #monkeyrevolution #

Powered by Twitter Tools.

The Return of Monkey News

I know, it's been a while since anything has happened here, much less an update on the Simianistas... At any rate, I have three items for you:

  1. The first, titled "Spider monkey goes ape at Fruitland Park flea market" not only goes for the obvious pun, but also uses the best spider monkey pic on the web.
  2. Next, did you know gorillas get totally pixelated on bamboo juice occasionally? Seriously. I mean wasted!
  3. Even more surprising, monkeys in Thailand have better dental habits than I do (with video!).

So, to sum up: spider monkeys (still) can't be trusted, Thai monkeys have great gums, and silverbacks need designated drivers.

Ain't nature grand?

Hey, how are ya?

Some random crap: My mommy got me a 40" Sony LCD HDTV for Xmas. I was planning to get something in the 46" range later in 2008, but 40" turns out to be plenty big (plus, it's free, yo!). That mother of mine is pretty cool. Even if she does have a thundering herd of Great Danes at her house (including this one and this one, who will make you cry).

---

Did you hear the Lakota have decided to secede from the US? I figure this is roughly equivalent to them going on strike. They're grabbing some attention and might get some sort fo concession from the US government, but in the end it will amount to nothing. Though, Brozo and I think it'd be fun if they started tolling traffic on I-90 and formed an army. How long do you think it would take for them to be labeled "terrorists" if they did that?

---

Did you hear that monkeys are as good at mental mathematics as college kids?

"We had them do math on the fly," Cantlon said.

The task was to mentally add two sets of dots that were briefly flashed on a computer screen. The teams were asked to pick the correct answer from two choices on a different screen.

The humans were not allowed to count or verbalize as they worked, and they were told to answer as quickly as possible. Both monkeys and humans typically answered within 1 second.

And both groups fared about the same.

Great. Just great.

---

Maybe they can help economists decide whether there's going to be a recession or not.

"A lot of the underlying resilience of the U.S. economy seems a bit unappreciated," says Citigroup economist Steven Wieting. "It's not clear that this is so large a burden that we can't muddle through this."

That's the best this guy could come up with? Muddle through?

Monkey Murder

The Deputy Mayor of the Indian capital, Delhi, was killed by a horde of moneys, if you can believe it.

SS Bajwa suffered serious head injuries when he fell from the first-floor terrace of his home on Saturday morning trying to fight off the monkeys.

The city has long struggled to counter its plague of monkeys, which invade government complexes and temples, snatch food and scare passers-by.

The Hindus consider monkey sacred, so they are basically allowed to reproduce like rabbits and generally fuck shit up all around town.

In other words, major cities in India are overrun by simian street gangs... To that I say, simply: No thank you.

(Props to Brandon via Twitter)

---

Track o' the post: Shock the Monkey, an obvious choice from Peter Gabriel's greatest hits disc, Shaking the Tree

Is that a marmoset under your hat or are you just glad to see me?

I find this story hilarious: Man Smuggles Monkey Into NYC Airport

The monkey escapade began in Lima, Peru, late Monday, when the man boarded a flight to Fort Lauderdale, Fla., said Spirit Airlines spokeswoman Alison Russell. After landing Tuesday morning, the man waited several hours before catching a connecting flight to LaGuardia Airport.

During the flight, people around the man noticed that the marmoset, which normally lives in forests and eats fruit and insects, had emerged from underneath his hat, Russell said.

"Other passengers asked the man if he knew he had a monkey on him," she said.

Too good!

...

In other monkey news: Escaped Monkey Recaptured in Miss.

Oliver was apprehended at Tupelo Stone & Masonry, the Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal reported, six days after leading park staff on a chase through the park's trail system before eventually eluding them.

So, one primate in the wrong place altogether and another one finally return to its proper home. I'm sure there's some sort of life lesson in that...

Got Plague?

We sure do! Here in the Colorado Front Range, the bubonic plague has long been known to fester amongst the prairie dog colonies that litter the landscape. Lately, though, it's been encroaching on the suburban bliss of our "little boxes" by way of the squirrels that run our fences and the bunnies that ruin our lawns.

And now it's in our monkeys.

Of course, how did the monkey catch the disease? BY EATING A DEAD SQUIRREL! Stupid monkey.

What baffles me is I have yet to see a single flea since moving to Colorado, but it seems they're out there. Guess they grow 'em invisible 'round these parts. Oh, and check this part out:

Although the plague, an infectious disease caused by the bacterium Yersinia pestis, is the same disease that killed 25 million Europeans in the 1300s, it now can be treated with antibiotics if caught early enough. Still, it is fatal about half the time, according to health experts.

Well, which is it, young feller? Treatable with antibiotics or 50% fatal?

Chimps With Pointy Sticks!

Senegalese chimps appear to manufacture and use spear-like implements.

In one case, Pruetz and Bertolani, from the Leverhulme Centre for Human Evolutionary Studies in Cambridge, UK, witnessed a chimpanzee extract a bushbaby with a spear.

In most cases, the Fongoli chimpanzees carried out four or more steps to manufacture spears for hunting.

That's just great.

When were humans first making spears? At least now we can write up a timeline for when to expect the Simianistas to take over completely.

Monkey Love

Specifically, too much of it. Sienna Miller got plenty:

But the over-zealous creature proceeded to stick its little monkey tongue into Sienna's mouth.

The Alfie star adds, "I sort of made out with a monkey... It was a sweet monkey but, no, that's too much." And to finish off the bizarre encounter, the monkey proceeded to urinate on Sienna's back.

And down in St. Kitts it's a major problem, I guess:

There is no point talking about increasing agricultural production in St. Kitts if we continue to ignore the serious monkey problem we have here -- namely, the huge and ever increasing population of monkeys that wander the country side devastating vegetables and fruit crops wherever they go.

Personally, I'd go with the monkeys eating my fruit rather than sticking their tongues down my throat.

Monkeys Are Awesome(ly Bad)

By way of kinyahbrutha: Court Reprimands New Delhi Over Monkeys

As forest cover around New Delhi has shrunk, the city has struggled with a growing simian population. Government buildings, temples and many residential neighborhoods are overrun by hundreds of Rhesus macaques. The animals will occasionally snatch food from unsuspecting passers-by and even bite them.

And by way of Dear Abby: Husband's monkey business is sign marriage is in trouble

When Suzy wants to have sex and asks him to come to bed, her husband refuses and tells her, "I'd rather spend time with Jocko."

Grocery snatching and home wrecking... Insidious little scamps, aren't they?

Darn Bonobo Punks!

Great Ape Scolded for Pulling Fire Alarm

The fire alarm is on a wall in the bonobo home in an area used by the apes and members of the scientific team. Panbanisha is one of seven bonobos at the Great Ape Trust, and was among the first group to arrive in April 2005. Bonobos are among the most human-like of the great apes.

Unfortunately, this story was posted to the Monkey Wire email list with the title "Great Ape Scolded for Pulling Fire Arm". That would have been a much more entertaining (er... I mean worrisome or something like that...) story!

Monkey News Roundup

First, we'll compare and contrast the human/primate relations in India as depicted by two stories:

  1. Monkey throws brick, woman killed -- On the campus of a hospital, no less!
  2. Villagers pray for recovery of monkey -- Little guy fried himself on an electric transformer.

The monkey news in the US is much less... Um... Am I a bad person if I say "entertaining"? Anyway...

Former employee blames UC Davis officials in monkey deaths

Several weeks later, the heater at the Animal Resources Service building blew hot air into the animals' room, raising the temperature to about 115 degrees.

Yeah, that's just gross.

Monkey Mirror

Proved: Monkey see, monkey do

Monkeys “imitate with a purpose�, matching their behaviour to others’ as a form of social learning, researchers report.

Such mimicry has previously been seen only in great apes – including humans and chimps – but now Italian researchers have recorded wonderful footage of the phenomenon in newborn rhesus macaques.

Oh sure, they "imitate with a purpose" alright: To take us down a notch and move on up the evolutionary scale, I'd say!

Stupid learning monkeys...

Throw Monkey from the Train

India Tries to Chase Monkeys From Trains

The langur handler is being paid a retainer of India rupees 6,900 ($160) a month, and ''he will be called whenever there is a monkey problem,'' Anuj Dayal, the spokesman for the Delhi Metro Rail Corp., was quoted as saying.

On June 9, a monkey reportedly crawled through some pipes and ended up aboard a train, scowling at passengers and jumping around a car.

Simianista commandos are crawling through pipes onto trains to terrorize the human race... And we find this on a site called "Happy News"?

I beg to differ!

Cheeky Squirrel Monkeys!

Squirrel Monkey troop escapes London Zoo

"The squirrel monkeys have managed to gain access to some of the taller trees in their enclosure and from there, have leapt into the higher branches of a tree in Regents Park," a London Zoo spokeswoman said.

They go on to say that the squirrel monkeys pose no threat, but then they mention this bit:

She said they were a very intelligent set of monkeys and staff had previously had to train them to stop stealing visitor's mobile phones.

Thievery and jailbreaking?! These critters are obviously immune to rehabilitation.

Update: As expected, Betty, the last of the bunch to still be roaming around, finally came back on her own.