Celebrisexy

Would any of Christian Bale's film characters be a good lay? Probably not.

3:10 To Yuma: Unexpressive. Plays things close to the vest. Grim. Secretly defensive with too much to prove. Might open up in private and might consider decent cocksmanship another sign of his must-be-proven-constantly manliness, but also might consider foreplay a sign of weakness. Thumbs down.

Cocksmanship is the word of the day, kids.

This of course leads us to the proverbial "List" that we like to pretend we are all allowed to keep. The List specifies the celebrities that your partner is supposed to let you frolic freely with, should you ever get the chance. Of course, the only thing that even lets The List exist is the fact that you will never get that chance. In fact, I know someone who had a particular vixen removed forcibly from his List because he'd actually met her in person once. This brings the game too close to reality. No good.

I don't actively maintain my list, but I like to keep a fuzzy idea of who might be on it for when the barroom conversation turn that direction. I have to say, though, that the glut of celebrity gossip sites (coupled with the fact that I know a couple people in the film industry who like to tell me "Oh, she's a total bitch and she has some kind of weird skin fungus." when I bring up someone I'd totally take a run at) is kind of ruining the whole notion of The List. None of these people are nearly as perfect as they used to seem and that's just no fun.

Now that I've built it up so much, I'm balking on the idea of typing out my List. It's a fluid, ever-changing thing... I'm reticent to nail it down.

How 'bout you go first?

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Track o' the post: There's No I In Threesome from Interpol's latest, Our Love To Admire (Note: Those links take you to Amazon's MP3 download area, which I highly recommend. I might try to keep doing a track for each post. I might not.)

What's the Meme?

Just a couple quick hits worth noting:

  • This morning I gave Radiohead two British pounds for the digital download of their new album, In Rainbows. They let you pick your own price. I put mine on the low side because I'm only a marginal Radiohead fan (and the album web site is a pain in the ass). It's still more than five times the $0.74 per CD music artists supposedly get from the labels (if they're lucky).
  • Say what you will about the French, they sure have talented news anchors (careful, boobies!).

Effective Clownery

Once, when I was small and living in the winter home of the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus, I thought I'd like to be a clown. Nowadays I mostly subscribe to the "clowns are creepy" philosophy, though. But when I come across a story like this, it warms the cockles, to be sure:

Clowns KKKick KKK ass!

"White Power!" the Nazis shouted, "White Flour?" the clowns yelled back running in circles throwing flour in the air and raising separate letters which spelt "White Flour".

"White Power!" the Nazis angrily shouted once more, "White flowers?" the clowns cheers and threw white flowers in the air and danced about merrily.

Awesome! And this happened in Knoxville, TN -- my old neck of the woods.

The Two Year Kettlebell Cycle

Actually, it was more like two and a half years ago that I first noticed kettlebells, thanks to (the now humbled and retired) Kostya Tszyu. Since then, I've actually seen kettlebells on TV a few times. One show was totally unrelated to fitness (it was probably a home renovation show or something), but the featured "real person" was a kettlebell trainer, and they showed him doing his thing.

Now BuzzFeed says it's the latest craze. (They do have some good, recent links, it should be noted.)

Go figure. ;)

You should be stronger than me.

Well, Amy Winehouse is finally going to rehab ("No, no, no!"). Mad props to WWTDD for summing up the story perfectly:

Winehouse, who collapsed last week after taking a cocktail of heroin, ecstasy, cocaine and the horse tranquillizer ketamine, is now thought to be wait did that fucking say "heroin, ecstasy, cocaine and the horse tranquillizer ketamine"?  HOLY SHIT!

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This story about a porn star called Mia Rose being banned from World of Warcraft for... um... being a porn star is hilarious. Where's the logic in that? Wouldn't you want people to think hot sluts played your game?

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David Allen should be announcing the winner of his tattoo giveaway today. Of course I entered, but I'm really rooting for his mom.

I

Have I mentioned my man-crush on Henry Rollins? I have, haven't I?

When you hear a Stooges track or a Buzzcocks track or a Ramones track or a track by the Fall, or what have you, in a car ad, some people, whenever that happens, I get a letter saying "What a sellout." And I say "no man, we've arrived." The person making that ad grew up on that music. You're no longer confined to interstitial, instrumental music, you're gonna get Iggy Pop and the Teddy Bears singing I'm a punk rocker to sell a car. What would you rather hear? Some wanky keyboard or Iggy and the Teddy Bears? I know which one I'd rather hear, and I just hope they get paid quickly and double scale, because it's about time.

Russell Simmons was pure gold on his show's last episode, too.

Kay You En Tee

They way I imagine this happening

Scene: A junior exec from KM Communications is trying to bond with his teenage sons over a "meal" from Wendy's, since he's never learned to cook and hasn't introduced his girlfriend to the boys yet out of fear that they would tell his ex-wife about her.

Dad: Hey! I've been put in charge of picking the call letters for some new TV stations. You guys wanna pick some out?

Boys: *whisper-giggle-whisper* Yeah, Dad, that'd be really cool. How about these...

Now the question is: Are there any other offensive call letters out there?

Rules of the game:

  1. 4 letters (no numbers)
  2. First letter must be K or W

Personally, I don't come up with much. WUSS and WIMP is about as good as I get.

All Hail John Smeaton!

This guy is not only a riot, he's a good egg to boot... The baggage handler who tackled terrorists

BAA worker John Smeaton told reporters how he had helped a police officer to restrain the suspects after a burning Jeep Cherokee, which was doused in petrol and packed with gas cylinders, crashed through the window of the departures lounge on Saturday.

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Demonstrating the "have-a-go" attitude typical of Glaswegians, Mr Smeaton continued: "Glasgow doesnae accept this, if you come tae Glasgow, we'll set about you."

How fantastic is THAT?! He is deservedly rising to a sort of stardom, too. Check the tribute blog and the YouTube action.

My favorite quite from the (less excited) CNN footage:

"He's a behg boy and no' for bein' shubdude."

It does me proud (as someone who claims Scottish heritage).

(Thanks, Garret!)

Um... Yeah... Never mind, iPhone.

Depending on which phone and which plan the iPhone costs between $2000 and $3000 $6000 over two years. I just switched providers and the three phones I got for the Wife, the Mother-in-Law, and myself and the service for those phones should run me on the low side of the iPhone range in the same time period.

Besides that, I really don't need my phone to do much more than make calls, send texts, and take pictures. By those criteria, I am pretty happy with my Synch (and it's even more phone than I need).

So, yeah. Up to now, I've been saying "I'll wait until the third generation of the iPhone." Unless my needs drastically change between now and then, however, I doubt I'd get one then either.

Got Plague?

We sure do! Here in the Colorado Front Range, the bubonic plague has long been known to fester amongst the prairie dog colonies that litter the landscape. Lately, though, it's been encroaching on the suburban bliss of our "little boxes" by way of the squirrels that run our fences and the bunnies that ruin our lawns.

And now it's in our monkeys.

Of course, how did the monkey catch the disease? BY EATING A DEAD SQUIRREL! Stupid monkey.

What baffles me is I have yet to see a single flea since moving to Colorado, but it seems they're out there. Guess they grow 'em invisible 'round these parts. Oh, and check this part out:

Although the plague, an infectious disease caused by the bacterium Yersinia pestis, is the same disease that killed 25 million Europeans in the 1300s, it now can be treated with antibiotics if caught early enough. Still, it is fatal about half the time, according to health experts.

Well, which is it, young feller? Treatable with antibiotics or 50% fatal?

Lucid Absinthe

Remember when I posted the WIRED article about T.A. Breaux and his adventures in absinthe analysis and distilling? Well, he's since gone and produced an "authentic" absinthe that will be legal here in the states. It's called Lucid and has a silly bottle.

According to the NY Times:

Mr. Breaux also had to keep the American palate in mind while developing Lucid. "In the U.S., anise is a sort of a strange flavor" he said. "We don't get a lot of exposure to it." So Mr. Breaux made sure that Lucid had a slightly cleaner, crisper taste than its European peers.

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Lucid will be available starting next month, priced at $59.95 for a 750-milliliter bottle. A Web site, DrinkLucid.com, will soon post information on liquor stores that will carry the product.

I sampled the 124-proof liqueur last week, while watching the National Basketball Association playoffs. When diluted with water and a pinch of sugar, the absinthe's taste is strong and pleasant. And the buzz has an odd way of focusing the mind I've rarely been so entranced by the swish of a basketball net.

Fantastic!

Dr. Sketchy, I Love You

When I read about this my first thought was "Hell yeah!" But that's just how I am. I get excited about the new alterna-burlesque and roller girls and stuff like that. Dr. Sketchy's Anti-Art School is right up that same alley. Then I read their "start your own" page and actually started to consider it. Of course, the truth is I would have ended up buying the coloring book and that would have been that. Lucky for me and everyone else of my ilk in and around Denver, someone beat me to it. It should be no surprise that RMRG's scariest roller girl, Pinky 500, is involved.

Fantastic, I say.

So, Matty... You free on the 3rd Monday next month? ;)

WTF Was That?

God I love me some Prince. Check this clip. James Brown calls up Michael Jackson, who does a standard little song and dance. MJ tells James to call up Prince. Prince rides a giant white man to stage and proceeds to get freaky. "Check the crazy guitar solo... No wait, I'm gonna take off my shirt instead. Oh! And microphone stand tricks! I can do some of those!" Effin' awesome.

Best part? JB carrying Prince's shirt over to him after he's done.

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Speaking of surprisingly (but not unpleasantly) unmatched expectations, the April snowstorm I mentioned that was supposed to bring the Denver metro area up to a foot of the white stuff missed us entirely. Don't worry, though, it's fucking shit up on the East Coast, big time.

Prairie Doggin'

There's plenty going on these days, but that's all I can think of to share at the moment.

Time for a Correction

One of those Newton's Apple-type trivia bits I tend to trot out with reasonable frequency (and have for as long as I can remember, practically) is that glass is "supercooled liquid". Now Garret points me to this article which actually shows us that I was ill-informed:

When glass is made, the material (often containing silica) is quickly cooled from its liquid state but does not solidify when its temperature drops below its melting point. At this stage, the material is a supercooled liquid, an intermediate state between liquid and glass. To become an amorphous solid, the material is cooled further, below the glass-transition temperature. Past this point, the molecular movement of the material's atoms has slowed to nearly a stop and the material is now a glass. This new structure is not as organized as a crystal, because it did not freeze, but it is more organized than a liquid. For practical purposes, such as holding a drink, glass is like a solid, Ediger says, although a disorganized one.

Good enough. Lesson learned and all that.

"Amorphous solid" it is.

Big Men Can't Spin

Oh, but they can! If you had told me, I never would have believe that Shaquille O'Neal could ever do a windmill spin. I wouldn't believe he could have done it when he was young and strong, much less at his current age (he's two months younger than I am) and decrepitude (he's starting to get the Kareem Shuffle thing going).

Well done Shaq!

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Totally unrelated YouTube silliness: My generation's answer to Ian Anderson -- The Beatboxing Flautist (doing the Mario Bros. theme, no less).