Would any of Christian Bale’s film characters be a good lay? Probably not.
3:10 To Yuma: Unexpressive. Plays things close to the vest. Grim. Secretly defensive with too much to prove. Might open up in private and might consider decent cocksmanship another sign of his must-be-proven-constantly manliness, but also might consider foreplay a sign of weakness. Thumbs down.
Cocksmanship is the word of the day, kids.
This of course leads us to the proverbial “List” that we like to pretend we are all allowed to keep. The List specifies the celebrities that your partner is supposed to let you frolic freely with, should you ever get the chance. Of course, the only thing that even lets The List exist is the fact that you will never get that chance. In fact, I know someone who had a particular vixen removed forcibly from his List because he’d actually met her in person once. This brings the game too close to reality. No good.
I don’t actively maintain my list, but I like to keep a fuzzy idea of who might be on it for when the barroom conversation turn that direction. I have to say, though, that the glut of celebrity gossip sites (coupled with the fact that I know a couple people in the film industry who like to tell me “Oh, she’s a total bitch and she has some kind of weird skin fungus.” when I bring up someone I’d totally take a run at) is kind of ruining the whole notion of The List. None of these people are nearly as perfect as they used to seem and that’s just no fun.
Now that I’ve built it up so much, I’m balking on the idea of typing out my List. It’s a fluid, ever-changing thing… I’m reticent to nail it down.
How ’bout you go first?
—
Track o’ the post: There’s No I In Threesome from Interpol’s latest, Our Love To Admire
(Note: Those links take you to Amazon’s MP3 download area, which I highly recommend. I might try to keep doing a track for each post. I might not.)
I’ll preface this by saying this is kind of like asking me my favorite song. It changes daily (some times hourly).
Kate Beckinsale definatly makes me feel funny in the bikini area. In fact I seem to dig on Kates, I find Winslet and Blanchett dreamy as well.
Minnie Driver (I’m sure it’s at least 45% accent)
Rosario Dawson makes me think dirty thoughts.
Then I have several with qualifiers (sp?)
Robin Wright-Penn from Princess Bride/State of Grace era (I’m pretty sure I could take Sean)
Madchen Amick from Twin Peaks/Dream Lover era (not sure how she’s holding up)
Shirley Maclaine from the Apartment (go ahead and laugh but then rent Billy Wilders’ the Apartment, so cute)
Not that I’ve given it much thought.
jessica lange
jodie foster
melissa ethridge
carrie fisher
heidi klum
linda hamilton
alyssa milano
nancy mckeon
melanie griffith
claire danes
just about in that order. no era when they were hot, want them now, same as when i first saw them.
The wife and I have kept the list for some time but I’ve been burned, badly, and am now hesitant to keep said list. Case in point, BSpears was on the list some 6 years ago and I’ve been ridiculed heavily for the past 5 1/2 years. However, if I were to begin a new list, Melissa Theuriau (previous post) would certainly be on it. French news broadcaster certainly qualifies as “will never meet and will never have any chance”.
Lucy Liu
Claire Danes
Milla Jovavich
Julia Stiles
Claire Forlani
Joey Lauren Adams
There are others, but those are definitely my ‘knee jerk’ responses.
Scarlett Johansson - she’s a super slut, but that’s cool.
Emily Procter - the main reason I watch CSI: Miami
Lucy Liu - Asian freckles are hot!
Salma Hayek - at least before she got hugely pregnant (might give her spot to Eva Mendes for the time being…)
Alyssa Milano - because of her, I can actually summarize the premise of Charmed
I could keep going, but that’d probably be a bad idea.
Not heeding my own advice, however, I will say that Rebecca Romijn, Jessica Alba, Chris’ 3 Kates, Minnie Driver, Rosario Dawson, Claire Danes, Milla Jovovich, Charlize Theron, Maggie Gyllenhaal and several others have had their time on my list, which changes with the weather.
The Jessicas: Alba & Biel
The Blondes: Gwen Stefani, Jenny McCarthy and Scarlett Johansson.
The Puberty Favs: Alyssa Milano and Samantha Fox.
The Exotic: Halle Berry, Lucy Liu, Shakira and Selma Hayek.
The Cougars: Florence Henderson, Sally Field and Markie Post.
Ooh, I forgot Jennifer Connoly…
I forgot the “Can’t Really Explain Why I Think They Are Hot” category:
- Mariska Hartigay
- Julia Louise Dreyfuss
- Mary Stuart Masterson (”All I care about in this world are me, my drums, and you.”)
My list is rather short, and my first pick is dead… but I’d probably do him just the same:
River Phoenix
Ryan Philippe
Christian Bale (the later, buff version)
There may be others, but that’s just off the top of my head. Off to play the Weii now…
j’timb?