A new favorite quote, dedicated to my friends in the sales staff at work:
I have no valid complaint against hustlers, no rational bitch, but the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes.
Hunter S. Thompson, The Rum Diary
Thanks for lending me the book, Johnny! 
Thanks kid! I’ll have a hug and kiss waiting for you when you get back.