I just wanted to link to a couple online videos that I find completely and inexplicably mesmerizing, so I threw a little pop reference in there for flavor. You know how I do.

Anyway, here you go:

• How is babby formed?
• Hurra Torpedo does the best version of “Total Eclipse of the Heart” that could ever exist. Heck it’s even kinda fun to watch them shop for “instruments”.

Of course, we already knew she’d shoot you with her “great knockers!”

In which David Cross tears Larry the Cable Guy apart to humorous effect:

About being Anti-Gay. I honestly take that back. I do not think that you are anti-gay, I didn’t choose those words wisely. Your stuff isn’t necessarily anti-gay but rather stupid and easy. “Madder than a queer with lock jaw on Valentines Day.” That’s not that funny, I don’t care who you are. It’s just sooo easy. I mean, over half the planet sucks dick so why gays? Why not truck stop whores, or Hollywood Starlets or housewives? Because when you say “queer” you get an easy laugh. End of story.

…

The reason you feel the need to “Larry” something up? Because you are not that dumb. I mean you, Dan Whitney, the guy who’s name the bank account is under. You were born and raised in Nebraska (hardly The South), went to private school and moved to Florida when you were 16. This is when you developed your accent?! Not exactly the developmental years are they? At age 16 that’s the kind of thing you have to make a concerted effort to adopt. Did you hire a voice coach? Or were you like one of those people who go to England for a week and come back sounding like an extra from “Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels”?

Oh, my stars, that’s good.

(Props to Rod for this.)

Warner Bros. announced Monday that Clooney, Pitt, Damon and most of the usual suspects from the first two Ocean pics will return for next year’s threequel, Ocean’s Thirteen. Steven Soderbergh will be on hand to direct for the third time.

…

“The odds were long on this happening, and it would not have been possible were it not for those actors and director moving other projects out of the way,” Weintraub told Variety. “The five of us [Weintraub, Clooney, Pitt, Damon and Soderbergh] are all great friends, and we decided we were going to kill ourselves to get this done.”

Funny. Not a week ago I heard from my Hollywood sources that they were having a hell of a time getting Pitt to sign on. It seemed like he might have to beg off due to his baby-having with Miss Angelina. I’m man enough admit I was more than a little bothered by the news — my feeling being that the Clooney-Pitt chemistry is the main reason to watch these things, though I do wish Damon’s “Linus” would get more play.

But yeah, the vibe for this instalment of Ocean’s 11+n is supposed to be as “back to basics” as this kind of thing can be (at least partly, that translates to “No Girls!”, I guess). Now let’s see if they can actually manage to get the film in the can without a three ring circus. Odds are actually better than they had been previously, since they seem to be eliminating most of the jet-setting tomfoolery by shooting in the LA area.

While I will certainly watch it (and most likely enjoy it), I hope it turns out better than Twelve.

Details on the episode were scarce as of press time — Chef returns to town, but his erratic behavior worries Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny — though Comedy Central did confirm that contrary to previous reports, Hayes will provide the voice for Chef, however all his lines will be taken from previously recorded material.

I love it! You just know the “erratic behavior” will consist of every phrase sounding like it comes from a completely different context, making the cut-and-paste job completely obvious.

The very best part, though is the press release from Stone & Parker:

Stone and Parker are refusing to let the whole thing go, issuing a statement to Daily Variety that pokes fun not only at Hayes and Cruise, but Scientology as a whole.

“So, Scientology, you may have won this battle, but the million-year war for Earth has just begun!” the statement read. “Temporarily anozinizing our episode will not stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!”

Absolutely heroic! Personally, I feel a need for the boys to do an Orgazmo-style movie based on all the info at Operation Clambake.

Update: Isaac Hayes may not be the bad guy here.

I thought this was great, though.

What the hell’s going on around here? People aren’t listening to a word I say.

That’s erstwhile pop star George Michael (aka Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou), who was found in an interesting state:

The 42-year-old singer was arrested after police allegedly found cannabis and GHB – a Class C drug known as liquid ecstasy – in the vehicle.

Sex toys and masks were also found in the boot, according to reports in The Sun.

The paper quoted a witness as saying: “George was completely out of it – he was all over the place. He was found with his head slumped against the wheel. No one could rouse him. He was virtually unconscious. When the police came he could hardly speak.”

The former Wham! star was arrested on suspicion of being unfit to drive, but after being taken to a police station and examined by a doctor he was “de-arrested”.

So… um… in spite of finding an assortment of drugs in the car with him, he was only arrested for maybe being unfit to drive an auto? Really? And then a doctor’s examination reversed that arrest? Really?

Huh. (And yeah, nevermind that junk in the trunk, yo.)

As Da Kine puts it: “I have no problem with that, as it is the funniest thing in the history of Western civilization.”

1. His podcasts are so funny, you’ll hurt yourself. (Mad props for the recommendation, Da Kine.)
2. I was a bit worried he and his cohorts were taking the Cambodian midget/lion hoax a bit too seriously. I’m sure they were going for comedic effect, but I sent them the Snopes link anyway.
3. They do Monkey News! I do monkey news, too!!