1. Ride my motorcycle
2. Start building bookcases
3. Hang out with friends
4. Go to the Monday CrossFit workout

Things I did do this holiday weekend:

1. Finished installing the new baseboard
2. Made lavender simple syrup
3. Took the wife out for a lovely lunch at Salt
4. Cleaned up the garage just a tiny bit
5. Cooked a bunch so we’ll have lots of easy leftovers
6. Went to the Saturday CrossFit workout and still can’t walk straight

I call that a win overall.

(Also, don’t bother reading this if you don’t like cussing, because I feel like cussing. A lot.)

With that out of the way, here’s how you get this shit done:

1. Get a bag of goat bones. (I ordered a half a fucking goat so it came with a package of trimmed bones and shit. That’s fucking awesome.)
2. Roast the shit out of those bones. (Like 400 degrees F or even 450. Flip the cocksuckers every once in a while, too.)
3. Turn on the broiler for a bit just to really show those bones who’s the fucking boss.
4. Get a big-ass pot on the motherfucking stove.
5. Throw in some onion chunks, a couple of garlic cloves (bash the shit out of them first), some celery, and some bell peppers. Or whatever the fuck you want, I don’t fucking care.
6. Saute that shit on a hot fucking burner. You want to build up a serious goddamn fonde.
7. Add some motherfucking spices and shit. (Lots of salt, pepper, bay leaves, thyme, herbs de Provence, whatever the fuck.)
8. Put the fucking bones in the fucking pot(s).
9. Add a bunch of water to that shit.
10. Bring it to a goddamned boil. It’s gonna look like this — you might get a fucking hard-on, so be careful.
11. Turn it the fuck down and put a fucking lid on it.
12. Leave it the fuck a lone for a good long while.
13. Strain out all the dead shit and try to skim most of the fucking fat off.
14. Ta-da. You make some stock that’ll make your mom want to punch your dick.

Luckily for me, I was recently “promoted” to the title of Chief Mixology Officer at work. We also now host a monthly gathering of geeks with drinks known as Ruby on Beer, so I thought I’d sneak something other than beer to the next party. Since I’m not the type to fly blind, I took the opportunity last Friday to make a batch of Fish House Punch for the office, just to try things out.

The results were definitely positive. Some folks were big, big fans, but I thought the flavors needed some rounding out. There were some sharp lemon notes and a big pop of sweet that required some smoothing.

Since the next Ruby on Beer is this Thursday, I felt like I needed some more practice. Today I started into making something when I realized I didn’t have any brandy or cognac in the house (I’m generally not a big fan, so no surprise, really.). Rather than make a run out to the packy to pick some up, I figured I’d just make something up.

I broke a few “rules” by using bourbon in my mixture, but it turns out I’m pretty good at making stuff up. ;^)

Punchin’ Judy

• For the oleo saccharum, peel four lemons and muddle the rinds in a cup of small crystal raw sugar.
• Let the lemon peels sit in the sugar for at least half an hour. The sugar will draw out the oils in the rind.
• Add the following to the oleo saccharum:
  • 1 cup lemon juice
  • 1/2 cup orange juice
  • 2 oz orange liqueur (Cointreau, Triple Sec, etc.)
  • 2 cups dark spiced rum (I used Kraken)
  • 2 cups bourbon (I went with Jim Beam)
  • 4 cups black tea steeped medium-strong
• Remove the lemon rinds and let sit in the fridge for at least an hour or two (I failed at this step)
• Serve with a big brick of ice and lemon wheels floating in it

This punch is delightfully easy to drink. Perhaps also dangerously easy to drink, because it definitely packs a wallop!

Pile it all into a shaker and shake until the cider ice cubes, which are soft, completely disintegrate.
Poor into chilled cocktail glass.

I had known about Hush for a couple months probably, but my first attempt to get on the mailing list didn’t work for whatever reason. Then just recently a newsletter from The Infinite Monkey Theorem Urban Winery (of which I have been a big fan for about a year) mentioned that they were hosting the next Hush, so I hopped on their site and signed up hoping I’d be in time to get invited to the winery dinner. As luck would have it, I was and I couldn’t be happier with the result.

The evening started off at about 6pm in the winery’s new courtyard sampling a surprisingly good rosé. We did some milling about, mostly keeping to ourselves, though a few brave souls did approach us. By the time we were told to move in to the winery’s Quonset hut for dinner, though, we had buddied up with another couple with whom we would turn out to have a lot of strange similarities. We had a real blast dining with them and hope to see them again soon.

Dinner itself was A-plus. The food was prepared by Kate Horton, chef at Black Pearl in Denver, and her team with each course paired with a different offering from the winery. Needless to say, I was totally geeking out the whole night.

Then to take the geek factor to warp 11, I met a guy in the line for the restroom who owns a Tesla. We went outside so I could pose next to it and instead he told me to hop in! We took a screaming lap around the block and went back to our tables. The Wife said something along the lines of “What happened to you? You were gone a long time.” to which I grinned with nerdy pride “Oh, I just went for a ride in a Tesla.”

More great food, awesome wine, and fantastic company followed.

So, two lessons:
1) If you’re in Denver, make the effort and go to a Hush event it’s worth the price and and all the underground cloak and dagger effort. If you aren’t in Denver, you might want to look around and see if there’s anything similar in your area.
2) I seem to “learn” this one over and over, but don’t be afraid to talk to strangers. You might find people that love the strange things you love and have great stories to tell you about them.

Congrats to Phil at Hush, Ben at IMT, and Chef Kate. I’m a big fan of all three now.

And of course faster is better, right Chief? That straight line between points A and B must also be the optimal route. How could it not be?

Well, I have come to the point in my life where I am developing an appreciation for the winding road. In my mind, actually firing up the stove trumps bringing up the Pizza Hut iPhone app to get a pie and some wings (although there are still close calls on that front, to be honest). If a 50 year old hunk of metal gets the job done as well as the modern conglomeration of plastics and who-knows-what, this guy is probably going to go for the antique. I can – and will – go on…

Build Something

A great example of what I’m talking about is home repair and/or home improvement. These days most folks run the numbers and decide their time is worth more than the cost of hiring a guy to come do the job for them.

The truth of the matter is fixing or building things around the house is super intimidating and sometimes actually difficult. These points are especially true if you have never had any training or experience with this kind of work. That said, however, the resources are out there for you to quickly gain the knowledge you need to give it a go. Go learn how to do the thing you need to do and give it a try.

Remember, even if you really fuck it up, you can hire that guy on Service Magic to fix it, but odds are you’ll do fine and you’ll have the satisfaction of having done it yourself.

Make Your Own Food

This past year, the thing I’ve done that has excited me the most is our raised bed garden. Even though it didn’t get finished until very late in the summer, we grew our own food in our own back yard. Talk about satisfaction!

Even if you don’t want to grow food, though, it’s worth putting in the effort to cook your own meals as much as you can. People who say they “can’t cook to save my life” are both lazy and lying. Cooking is one o the the most easily acquired skills there is in this world. Your food will be better than most things you’d go out to buy and there’s a high probability that it will even be better for you.

That Straight Razor Thing

The three of you who read this thing have already heard a lot about my obsession with straight razors. At this point I shave almost exclusively with a straight razor. Sometimes that means I only shave once a week, though, which doesn’t do me any favors. At that point my technique suffers and I am more likely to cut myself. I might actually have a very faint, but permanent scar on my face now… For real.

I still love it, though.

Shaving takes a long time with the straight razor. First, I strop my razor and prep my lather brush; then I hop in the shower for a long, hot one; once I’m dried off, I make some lather and start shaving — I usually do at least three passes at around 10 minutes each. The whole process takes 45 minutes or so, and I enjoy every single one of them. I play music I enjoy and just spend quality time with myself. More people should find something that allows them to have that kind of time with themselves.

Boozing

Learning about and mixing classic cocktails, and even trying to concoct my own new recipes, give me a lot of joy, as some of you may have noticed. There’s not much more to say about that, really. It’s just another hobby that requires a bit more effort than the average Joe puts into it.

Your Way?

Now, let’s be truthful, I’m not the King of the Hard Way by any stretch of the imagination. By no means do I always shun the efficient or the easy. Even the things I’ve listed above aren’t exactly earth shattering, but it’s an attitude I’ve been pondering lately.

So, how about you? Tell me about something you do the “hard way”. What is an activity that give you more satisfaction when you do it by hand rather than with some kind of “modern convenience”? I’ll bet some of you are doing way more interesting things than I am.

• The Green Fooder — We order pastured eggs, grass finished meats, and some other sundries from Mitch and love it all. Seriously. It’s well worth it in our opinion. I just hope he sticks with it.
• Home made lavender simple syrup and the Southend cocktail — I was all about this on Twitter and Facebook, but it’s worth mentioning here. Super good if you switch to Hendrick’s gin, too.
• Speaking of booze (and since I’ve decided my online — if not real life — personality has morphed into a strange combo of Dean Martin and George Carlin: booze & cussing!), you should get a copy of Vintage Spirits and Forgotten Cocktails: From the Alamagoozlum to the Zombie 100 Rediscovered Recipes and the Stories Behind Them if you are into that sort of thing. The Sazerac formulation therein is a fave.
• Chef’s Planet cruets — Just got these today and they are the best thing I’ve encountered for counter-top cooking oil / vinegar storage.
• You know what I put in one of those? Spanish olive oil. Check it out. Whole Foods actually has some good olive oils under their 365 brand for reasonable prices.
• José Andrés — This guy’s “Made in Spain” show on PBS is what got me to grab some Spanish olive oil and makes me desperate to travel to España. The food looks sooooo jummy!
• Michael Ruhlman’s blog — I picked up three of his books because his blog posts are such high quality. He’s a fun follow on Twitter, too.
• Growing herbs — We have a nice little container garden outside our front door with mint (for cocktails, mostly), Italian parsley, sage, rosemary, oregano and basil. Of course, we also have lavender in the back yard. It’s totally awesome.

And just to go totally off track, I’ll also add one work/geekery item:

• Pair programming — It’s really, really, really good. For many reasons. I’m stoked we get to do it at my work these days. Now if only we could get our heads around proper testing…

The house got wicked hot, but everyone got fed and seemed to have a damned good time. I only got to spend a fraction of the time I should have/wanted to with any one person, but that’s to be expected when your living room looks and sounds like a downtown bus terminal.

The food turned out quite good. I’m very pleased.

The people make the event, though, so thanks all! It was a fantastic evening thanks to you.

Next time we may need to sell tickets or something…

It’s seriously one of the most frustrating/educational/shattering/enlightening things I’ve done to myself in a long while. I highly recommend it, though it always comes with a warning. It’s either going to piss you off, make want to throw your hands up, or make you figure “Fuck it! that’s too much to care about!” Or all three. Or more.

Then I immediately moved on to Pollan’s In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto, which is basically his answer to all of the people who read OD and wrote him to ask “Well, WTF can I eat and where the hell can I find it?!?” to which he replies with his zen koan of a “manifesto”:

Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.

It’s a bit trickier than it sounds, believe me. In particular, when he says “food” he means real food, not engineered and manufactured “food products”. He does go on to lay down some more specific – but still simple – definitions and rules that all make perfect sense, but have almost nothing to do with the average Western (more specifically, American) diet these days. I’m happy, though, to hear our new president is at least aware of Pollan’s open letter about the state of food in the Union.

These two books have made quite an impact on me, obviously. Thanks to Michael Pollan, I am now researching things like local farmers markets, CSAs, polyculture farming, “slow” food, grass-finished beef, pastured poultry and eggs, and on and on and on. And this stuff doesn’t come cheap. Pollan notes that himself, but he also points out that the percentage of income spent on food in the US is almost ridiculously low compared to other countries with healthier-seeming diets/lifestyles, so maybe it’s worth it.

It also tends to balance out a bit if you actually cook for yourself, which this shift to whole and real foods has definitely inspired me to do.

That said, I certainly haven’t stopped dining out. I have, however, become a bit more discerning in where I take my lovely wife for a meal. Now I look for establishments that do their best to use local and natural ingredients. Luckily, many of these places also make some kick-ass food. I talk about three examples in particular after the jump:

Park Kitchen, Portland, OR

This place was the absolute highlight of our trip to Portlandd. This is saying something fairly significant, because we totally fell in love with that place.

The first time we ate there, we stopped in on our way to see Gogol Bordello in concert at the Roseland Theater. Since we had plans, we went with cocktails and a trio of Park Kitchen’s “small plates”. The Wife had a martini variation called the Beekeeper, which is knock-your-socks-off delicious and I had a “Summer Sazerac”, which was made with herbsaint rather than the traditional absinthe and was quite tasty (though not my favorite Sazerac, see below). The pseudo-tapas consisted of all cold plates: flank steak with bleu cheese and parsley, gin soused tomatoes and cucumbers, and marinated mussels with corn and lobster mushrooms. We finished the night with a corn cannoli desert that featured the most amazing spiced caramel that had such a fantastic sweet and salty combination we couldn’t get over it.

We loved the place so much, that we had our wonderful and crush-worthy server, Jenny, make us reservations for the next night, mentioning that it was out wedding anniversary and requesting a corner booth for proper cuddling action.

The next night we came in to the feeling that folks were expecting us and word of our celebration had spread. Jenny came out to welcome us with small glasses of cava and to let us know she was working a private party but would be checking in on us through the night. Our waither for the night, Jack, gave us the best advice of the night when he responded to my “So, what’s the story with teh tasting menu?” with a solid “All I can tell you is, do it.” And so we did. More cocktails and more beyond excellent food, including rabbit and fried green beans and bacon (by which I mean there were thick strips of bacon that were battered and fired!). Absolutely wonderful. Made even more so by the company of Shane (who, it turns out, concocted the aforementioned Beekeeper, and his father at the table next to us.

We cannot recommend Park Kitchen enough.

SoBo American Bistro, Boulder, CO

My bosses (and good friends, happily) love this place, and so do I. SoBo is the home of the best Sazerac and the best Old Fashioned I’ve ever had — all of which are apparently inspired by a book called The Art of the Bar. They also crank out some mighty fine food. I had a parpadelle with chicken meatballs that seriously tasted like pork sausage. It was so incredible that I sent our care-taker, Eileen back to the kitchen to find out how they did it. The answer: pork fat! After that, Eileen sent us home with some cherry-vanilla bitters that she had made herself. Can’t beat that with a stick.

I’ve been to SoBo several times, and I’ve encounter an item here or there that hasn’t knocked me out, but I’ve never had a real failure there. I think this just comes from exploring more of the menu — You’re bound to find something that isn’t up your alley eventually.

SoBo is great people and fantastic food. I also love that it’s the best thing going in South Boulder.

The Kitchen Cafe, Boulder, CO

We just experienced The Kitchen for the first time last Saturday before we saw Henry Rollins in Boulder. I’ve known about it for quite some time now, but have never gone because until recently I’ve had an aversion for both Pearl Street and restaurants that require reservations be made days in advance. In the case of The Kitchen, it’s well worth working through those aversions.

This time out, I started with a Talisker, an Islay single malt, neat while The Wife had a fruity grapefruit/lychee gin drink that was really delicious. For the first course we shared the roasted bone marrow. This was the first time trying bone marrow for both of us, and wow! Our server called it “like the best butter ever”, but I’ll stand by The Wife’s “Colorado lobster” analogy. Our main courses were an incredible hanger steak with root vegetables for her and a pair of small but succulent lamb rump chops for me. To compliment the meat we took advantage of the wine prix fixe deal, having a full glass of a Loring pinot noir from Oregon first and and then switching to a half glass of Catena, an Argentinian malbec, to finish with a bolder note.

This place approaches the (probably unreasonable and unattainable) standard set by Park Kitchen in our minds. Well worth planning ahead for the experience.

1. Park Kitchen — So good we went there twice.
2. Kenny & Zuke’s — So good we never ate breakfast anywhere else.
3. Gogol Bordello — And the experience of an all ages show in Portland.
4. The City of Portland — We walked all over the place. It’s tiny and awesome.

So stay tuned…

—

Side note: This is turning into the Autumn of Concerts for Team Sutton. To date, we’ve seen Spiritualized (which I have so far failed to write up, but was totally awesome) and Gogol Bordello; and soon we will see Fleet Foxes, DeVotchKa, and a spoken-word turn by Hank Rollins.

Nice!